S1 E1: Navigating Identity as a Trans* and Non-Binary Artist and Educator and Creating Space for Yourself with Garcia
In this episode, I speak with Garcia, a trans*, non-binary and gender non conforming actor, creative, educator and Chicago native. In our conversation, we discuss Garcia’s transition, receiving gender affirming care, their choice to change their name and what being a trans person means to them. We also discuss their experience playing a trans man on Netflix in Tales of the City, what it’s like being an educator today, and so much more. According to the documentary DISCLOSURE, which Garcia makes a cameo in, 80% of the population has never met a trans person. That means most people are getting their information about and impressions of the trans community through media depictions that are often problematic.
Summary
In the first episode of her podcast "On The Outside," Taylor Rae introduces her intentions to address a range of issues including mental health, disabilities, race, gender, and sexuality. Her first guest was Garcia, a notable actor from Chicago known for their role in Netflix's "Tales of the City". Identified as trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming, Garcia shares experiences ranging from their own transition and its social impact, to their perspectives on representation in the media. Garcia also discusses their legal name change, initial dissatisfaction with it, and subsequent name "Honey". They further elaborate on the intricacies of their hormone therapy and the concept of transitioning as an ongoing process. Speaking on their passion for education and working with non-traditional students, Garcia touches on the importance of emotional and communication skills. Lastly, Taylor address challenges concerning gender-affirming care in the U.S., citing statistics from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, and underline its significance to the mental health of trans youth. Garcia concludes by referring to their experiences as a trans actor and underlines the importance of respecting individual identities.
Key Moments
Introduction to On the Outside (00:00:06 - 00:03:32)
In the inaugural episode of her podcast "On the Outside," Taylor Rae begins by expressing gratitude to her audience. After dedicating months to researching, recording, and producing the podcast, she shares the motivation behind the project, relating to her experiences of feeling excluded and different, which she has encountered throughout her life. She aims to use the podcast to connect with people of diverse backgrounds and discuss a variety of challenges, from mental health and disabilities to race, gender, and sexuality issues. The structure of the podcast includes conversations with guests on Mondays, intimate family chats on Wednesdays, and solo episodes led by Taylor on Fridays. The first full-length episode is this piece with Garcia.Garcia: Transgender Identity, Social Transition, Name Change (00:03:36 - 00:28:19)
Taylor introduces Garcia, a native of Chicago and actor known for their role in Netflix's “Tales of the City”. Garcia identifies as trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming, preferring not to label themselves at all despite acknowledging the value of these terms. Garcia received a nomination for a Lucille Lortel award for their off-Broadway role in "Continuity." They have built a reputation for significant community involvement—from teaching English and working on a farm in California to returning to Chicago as an educator. Garcia reflects on their journey as a trans person, revealing how their transition has impacted their life and relationships, especially discussions around queerness. The conversation also touches on Garcia's perspective on media portrayal of the trans community and their personal experiences of feeling like an outsider. A significant part of the conversation revolves around Garcia’s relationship with their name. Initially, Garcia legally changed their birth name for safety reasons; however, they expressed some dissatisfaction with this decision because the name never truly felt like their own. Now, those who are closest to Garcia refer to them affectionately as "Honey". Garcia's experience of transitioning is described as an ongoing process rather than a clear transition from one gender to another. They mention the complexity of hormone therapy in their journey of self-understanding and identity formation. Beyond gender identity, Garcia shares their passion for education, specifically working with non-traditional students and fostering emotional and communication skills.Gender Affirming Care, Trans Youth, American Medical Associations, Personal Gender Identity Experience (00:28:19 - 00:46:55)
Garcia shares their personal experience about their journey with gender affirmation and the reactions they have received over the years. Taylor then touches on the current political climate in the United States, highlighting how gender-affirming care has faced significant challenges with many states passing bans on such practices. Taylor cites data from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation that indicates over 35% of trans youth live in a state with gender affirming care bans. They emphasize the importance of gender-affirming care as defined by the World Health Organization and how access to it leads to better mental health outcomes for trans youth. Garcia also shares their experiences as a trans actor, particularly in relation to their role in the Netflix series "Tales of the City".
Transcription
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Hello and welcome to our first episode. My name's Taylor Rae. And this is On the Outside. Today, 'm bringing you an amazing conversation with Garcia. But before we get into that chat, I want to start out by thanking you for being here. It's our first episode. And this podcast has truly been such a passion project for me. Over the last few months, I have edited, produced recorded research and curated each of these episodes completely by myself.
And I'm so proud of that. I really wanted to have a clear vision in the messages that I'm bringing to you and the information that I'm sharing with you. And it really comes from the bottom of my heart. I started this podcast and titled it on the outside. Because for a lot of my life, I felt like I didn't quite fit in whether that was growing up and being ostracized and bullied, whether that was going to college and really feeling the effects of not growing up with the same socio-economic
background as a lot of my peers, whether that was deciding to go to grad school at 30 years old with a lot of my classmates being a lot younger, there are so many ways in which I felt like I didn't fit in while some of them have been more quirky and fun. Others have actually been really hurtful, really hard, really painful and really challenging while I've desperately wanted to be included so many times in my life.
I know that being exactly who I am without compromise, without feeling like I need to change myself to be more of what other people might accept. Has made me prouder, more grounded, more centered and honestly, more able to bring these conversations to you. I hope that on the outside, it becomes that weekly place where you go to feel more connected, but also to learn more about people that you might think you have nothing in common with.
I talked to so many incredible people from so many different backgrounds, people with chronic illness, people that talk about their race, their gender, their sexuality, people that share what it's like living with a disability or struggling with mental illness. People that have experienced disordered eating people that have had so many different experiences in their life that while they have been challenging, they have shaped them into who they are today while not all
forms of oppression are equal and while we all hurt in different ways, we all still hurt for season one, I'm bringing you a conversation with someone from a various background with a individual and unique story on Mondays. That's this episode on Wednesdays, we have what I'm calling family chats an opportunity for you to feel like you're sitting at the kitchen table with me and someone that I love for a heart to heart conversation around a tough topic.
And on Fridays, you get a solo episode with your girl. We're talking about so many different things this season and those are short sweet bonus episodes. Today, we're about to dive in to the first full length episode and I think I'm ready. Let's go for it. In today's episode. I talked to Garcia. Garcia is a Chicago native seen on Netflix Tales of the City of playing the role of Jake Rodriguez.
A trans man. Garcia identifies as trans, non binary, gender, non conforming, but with a desire to not have to label themselves at all while simultaneously seeing the value of those labels. Garcia was nominated for a Lucille Lowel award for outstanding featured actor in a play for their off broadway role in continuity from working on a farm as a leader and teacher in support of youth in California to teaching English in Spain.
Garcia has always found a way to contribute to their community. Currently, they're back in Chicago working as a teacher in our conversation. I talk about Garcia's transition, receiving gender affirming care their choice to change their name and what being a trans person means to them knowing Garcia for almost 10 years. Now, I share how conversations with them around queerness has impacted me. We discuss their experience playing a trans man on Netflix, what it's like being
an educator today and so much more according to the Netflix documentary disclosure, which Garcia makes a cameo in 80% of the population never meet a trans person. That means most people are getting their information about and impressions of the trans community through media depictions that are often problematic. We started out by hearing about a time when Garcia felt like they were an outsider.
Garcia
I think something I've been thinking about recently again with the trying to figure out what do exactly do I wanna talk about in terms of feeling like an outsider? Hm. Is pretty recent and not recent. I think I'm gonna go on a tangent. I promise I'll get there. Ok. I had friends giving the other day, which also is just like not celebrating Thanksgiving, but just like acknowledging my friends and their ability to give.
and they're all friends that I've had since elementary school. One of them I've known since kindergarten. Another I've known, which I think is like my longest friend actively and the other ones I've known since like 5th, 6th, no, 4th, 5th grade, whatever. They're friends from elementary school, which being back in Chicago, which is, this is my first year ish being back since leaving for college in like 2017, this is the longest I've been home since all of this is relevant.
I promise my elementary school is down the street and a lot of us still live in the neighborhood. And it's, it's just really interesting to, to revisit a place that is so much of who I am and who, who has made me so much of who I am and that is both a blessing and a wonderful curse. Anyway, so I'm still lucky to like actively see these people in my life and be around them.
But they are my straight friends and I am at dinner some, I forget how it comes up. But I was like, well, how, how many gay friends do you have? And my friend was, I'm not gonna name anybody because I don't, for one of those like you, they pointed at me and I was like, that's a problem like that's, and my friend across the table was like, I have two and I was like, the fact that you can count is my point like this is not because, oh because like energy had come out and the, and like having to use an nergy or a certain amount of energy when I'm around them and then they immediately like everyone kind of got a face and like what you don't fuck with us then. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no like that. And like this is just a difference and this is like, I'm actively always again on the outside of them. And this but also on the inside. So it's weird.
So maybe I'm like existing always on like if I'm looking, if we're thinking about a circle, I'm always on the rim of that circle. and just explaining to them again, we have a different language even using words like, oh it's the energy that it's required to be around you all like, you know, they still miss gender the fuck out of me and, and they're like, I'm sorry, I'm like, no, it's fine.
Like I'm not mad like I'm not, it's just then that requires an energy of me. And then it was kind of hard to. So this is all happening in English and one of my friends is married to a man who very much understand anyway, his, his first language is Spanish. He's so we're like translating back and forth and she's trying to explain to him what I'm trying to explain to the group.
And then we both caught it in the middle and we were like, yo, oh perfect example, like the l like language right now. And I was telling him in Spanish, I was like right now, right? It requires a certain energy of view to be around people who don't speak, who's, whose native tongue is in Spanish. So like that require and that's exhausting whether we're conscious or subconscious of that you right now are on the outside of this.
And I say all that because not only my, again, on the circumference of this friend group, but also this neighborhood and the people I've grown up around in and out of and it's a trip. But I think so, not only is it queerness, but I also think hand in hand what comes with that which I think is also and I don't know if it's gonna sound, I don't know.
No, it's not pretend because we can get into it. But also healing. And I think that like the universe or energies or whatever you wanna believe in that exists that is intangible between people is I think we can tell where if and where people are in their healing.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Let's get into our conversation.
Garcia
I read this passage the other day. Can I actually read it? The new Saints from broken hearts to spiritual warriors? I ordered it because I was like just this little episode alone. I was like, I must have anyway. So it says all this reminds me of how lonely I have been all my life. I have dwelled so deeply inside of myself and developed such a decadent spiritual life that most people can't begin to relate to me.
And because of this decadence, I have developed the capacity to see and experience the complexity of people as well as the world. We have created my loneliness stems from not being able to articulate everything I experienced to others because they have not developed the same capacity to understand this complexity. So often I choose to keep these experiences to myself and pretend the world is as simple as people think it is.
And I read that and I'm like, bitch, I am so lonely but also not. Well, my name is Garcia. Everyone knows me as Garcia. I I'm gonna just throw. Yeah. but if you know me well and if you love me, you call me, honey. And I'm trying to learn how to incorporate that into either in or on the circumference of circles, honey.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I do wanna talk more about your name. Do you want to talk about that now? Or do you want to talk about it more later? Hm.
Garcia
As it comes up? Yeah, both. I mean that, that's, I think a little bite. born and raised in Chicago mainly on the south southwest side. I actually am currently residing in an apartment building that I used to live in when I was two. Yo, which is crazy and probably one of the very few families in this neighborhood that own the building that they live in.
I don't own the building. Someone else in my family does but I get to live here and I'm very grateful. but yeah, I grow, I grew up in and out of this neighborhood, Brighton Park and I'm waiting for that gentrification to hit with dread. I don't want it but it's coming. It's coming anyway. Yeah. Sure. I mean, we, the strike just ended. Am I an actor?
I'd be acting all the time. I'm an artist of multiple mediums. I'm a master of literally nothing. Also an educator right now. Teaching. Yeah, I feel like I've always been an educator though. I love working with youth. I think that's one of the reasons that I'm where I am today is because I've had a few people in my life that just turned to me and were like, hey, I believe in you, you can do this.
And I think all I've wanted to do since then is be the same for other people. Trying to figure out what specifically that looks like whether it's in or outside of a traditional classroom. Before this, I was living out in Madrid Spain, which was a pretty big flex just for myself, honestly. I went out there to teach English. That was the only way I could like travel and work.
And yeah, I love the show you before Spain. I was in Mendocino County, northern California and a tiny, tiny little town called Philo California with 349 people. on top of a hill on a farm, it was a camp farm. Because after college, I was like, I don't know what the hell to do, but I want to do whatever I wanna do. And so I literally got on Google and I was, like, cool outdoor jobs in California.
And then I found this job. I had no idea actually what I was getting into. I thought I was just gonna go work on a farm that was a camp or for funsies and it ended up being this. Wow, that's really cool. program. I'm not gonna drop name because I have mixed feelings. But, it is, the, the cool part about it is that we were working with youth between the ages of the ages of 13 and 18 and they were there, for 11 day sessions and whatever they had like a workbook and an essay and we would do camp farm
activities with them and essentially they were, this was all going towards school credit for them to complete their GED because they were going to alternatives of high school. And I don't know about you, but I always had a misconception growing up about alternative high school students. I thought it was just like, where all the bad kids go.
I had no idea that it was just for students that have untraditional lives. Like, maybe they're working 40 hours a week, maybe they're supporting people, their family, kids that aren't theirs, kids that are, you know, things like that. So it was really interesting and I had no idea that I was gonna be working with these type of students, but specifically because we would get them from all over the state.
I mainly was like black and brown low income students and that were getting these all expense paid trips and I thought that was fucking awesome. And I had no idea that one of the locations is literally right around the corner from me. It was this old post office and it's this school called Pathways. That's an alternative high school. And that was really cool. The cool part about it was like, yeah, we're doing camp activities, doing farm activities, but we also got to do social
emotional activities with them and teaching them how to have a conversation, how to be vulnerable. How big, what is conflict resolution? How do you say sorry to someone and, and things like that. So that was, that's, that's the shit I wanna get into with you specifically. Because that's kind of what theater did for me unknowingly.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Can you drop the, the actor credits your actor life, your actor experience.
Garcia
Right. Right. I was, I am an actor. Yeah. So before you were an actor, yeah, I am an actor. Yeah. So before the, before the farm then was going to NYU and before that wild introductory, like at the end of my freshman year, I ended up booking Tales of the City and that's kind of how my life came to be. I think, I don't know what it would have looked like.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
What was the show I saw you in was it off Broadway? Yeah, I was like, I was like, it was winter. I was like, it was snowing. Wait, what did you get nominated for, or?
Garcia
Lucille Lorel for that.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Ok, Slay. I loved you in that.
Garcia
Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed that. I killed it in the audition. I killed it in the show. I mean, I just was having fun. I didn't think, I, I didn't even know people got nominated for stuff and they were like, I got a call from my, from a friend actually who just also he, oh, he had text me or they had texted me.
I had this friend, text me. They're like, oh my God, congratulations to us. We got nominated. I was like, wait, this is during the pandemic. I'm like, out on a walk and they're like, we got nominated for Lucille and I'm like, I don't know what that is like. And then you're like, who's Lucia?
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
You're like, who's Lucille?
Garcia
I do. I know her, right? How does she know me? And I was just really proud of myself and that and I don't know, I don't, there's not much I give myself praise for but for that one, I'll Yeah, that one I will.
Garcia, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
And you and I met doing Yes.
Garcia
Good Friday baby. Yes.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yes. We met doing Good Friday in New York. And you said when I first called you for this, that it was like 10 years ago, which I cannot believe. And while I've always known Garcia as Garcia and professionally, they are known by the name Garcia. They gave some more insight around the complex relationship they've had with their name over the years. So something that you mentioned, you said my name is Garcia or I go by Garcia, honey, for those that know me and love me one, I'm a little
offended because I know you and love you and I call you Garcia so harmed by that. But I've always known you as Garcia. I have also known you as Josiah and yeah, I have but I, I, I feel like I've pretty much always called you Garcia but I've always checked in with you. Like there was a point that I was like, oh, do you want me to call you Josiah? And you were like, maybe and then you were like, no, never mind. Oh, wow.
Garcia
Like in the beginning then? Yeah.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah. No, it was in the beginning. It was in the beginning. It was in preparing to chat with you. I was like, do you want me to call you, honey? Should I call you, honey? What do you think? And I know you're still figuring it out, right.
Garcia
Yeah, I think so. I mean, because it's not a legal name and I don't have the patience to go through that again. And it's not all that serious.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
According to the US transgender survey, the risk of violence is the most common reason why trans individuals may change their name. That survey, the largest ever conducted of transgender Americans found that 32% of respondents who presented I DS at odds with their gender presentation were quote, verbally harassed, denied benefits or services asked to leave or assaulted. Only 11% of respondents in that survey reported that all of their I DS had their name and the gender that
they preferred. 68% reported that none of their I DS had the name and gender that they preferred. Can you talk about because you just mentioned it's not a legal name and you don't have the patience to go through all of that. So can you talk about what it was like and what prompted you to change your name in the first place? Yeah.
Garcia
Sure. Literally safety. Like I have no other reason for I think at that time because I did it when I was 21 or right before I was 21. I remember this. So it was right before I was 21. I couldn't even tell you the process, I completely forgot, but it was just like this organization that offered to kind of like work with you through the process, be with you there through core and take you down to like DMV, get your license.
Like they would just be, there was like a person that was assigned for this and it was really cool. Someone had put me on to this. So I was like, cool and I went and I didn't have to pay, which was really nice. yeah, and that just was like a whole blur and, but I remember I just for the time maybe because I was young. I have no, I don't wanna, no, I don't wanna toss it to age, but I wasn't thinking about it too much.
I just was like, I need to change my name in terms of safety. So it just like kind of matches with what people are seeing. That's kind of what I was thinking at the time. Yeah, which sounds so really not what I stand by now.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
But I mean, safety is important, you know, like safety, safety is important. I definitely feel like even if you don't feel like maybe your exact reasoning is like aligned with how you feel. Now, I think it's a very valid reason Garcia goes on to share more about their dead.
Garcia
So I guess I was fine with my name and like nothing against it all good. And the or my dead name, I should say dead.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Naming means referring to someone by name that they do not want you to use a trans person may decide to no longer use their birth or legal name and instead choose a name that better aligns with their identity when someone uses their old name, especially after being asked not to.
Garcia
That is what we call dead name, I started transitioning God, I don't remember how old I was, but basically I just had this thought at one point being on tea where it's like, well, I guess my name should match this person that people will start to visibly see. And I don't because already, you know what? Because already even with my prior name and the way I looked and the way I dress, like I was always being confused for a boy.
Anyway, even with my hair was long. Like I remember because I'd always put it up in a ponytail and I was, oh God. Yeah, I remember just growing up being like chased down into bathrooms. People feel people thinking that I was walking into the wrong one or that I was inside there. So it was already, it's just my gender has always been misconstrued.
And I wonder, subconsciously that played a part where I was like, I think I should also need to change my name soon, sooner rather than later. So it can start to match. And I really wasn't all that creative. I was just like, yeah, my last name, my other name has AJ. So this should have AJ two. And then I was like, hm, what sounds different that we don't hear all the time? And then for some reason, my non-religious ass was like, let's pick a really biblical name.
Josiah maybe like, and, and honestly, I haven't really met many Josiah. I I know, I don't even know any personally. I, but I have come across like a couple so I'm not mad at what I picked, but it has never been me. I think it's just helped me and it looks, it's palatable on a driver's license. Palatable, you know, when I got to put my name on a waitlist and they call it and I stand up like it's helpful.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Garcia mentioned their experience being on tea or testosterone prompting them to change their name. Masculin hormone therapy typically begins by taking testosterone. A low doseof tea is prescribed and then the dose is slowly increased over time. Tea usually is given through a shot, also called an injection or through a gel or patch applied to the skin.
The tea that's used for masculin hormone therapy is identical to the hormone that the testicles and ovaries make naturally. I wanna back up a second to when you started transitioning. How do you define that for yourself? Do you define it as when you started on tea or do you define it as like just something that began before that?
Garcia
Oh, that is a really good question. Come on question.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Trans* often seen with an asterisk. Next to it is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity and or expression is different from cultural expectations based on the sex they were assigned at birth being trans does not simply imply any specific sexual orientation. It also doesn't imply any specific gender affirming care or gender expression. Therefore, transgender people may identify a straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, et cetera.
Garcia
In that case, I've always been transitioning but like I came into the out the I CA I was a cell, I was a little sperm. And then ever since then, I've just been transitioning and have never stopped honestly because no, if you really, that's true. Like if we eliminate hormones, I would still be transitioning into something, someone else. I don't know what that would look like or what that would be. But yeah, I, I feel like I've just throughout life, at least I've always just been what is
comfortable to me. What feels good to me whether that be with my hair or my clothes or, I don't know. Yeah, the transition probably started way before but this like this concept of like being a boy and like, or not being a girl, whatever the fuck those things mean. Like that's that I don't think that was ever at play.
Garcia
I just again, like it was just like what I was physically comfortable in and yeah, the hormones just, oh, that's kind of complicated actually though having known Garcia for many years since the first few months when they started tea and through their experience changing their name, I've learned so much about how they specifically view their experience with and relationship to their gender identity.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
But when I've talked to you about all of these things for the last, you know, however long since I've known you, I think the idea that and I'm sure some people do experience transitioning like this, that it's like I am this gender, I knew that I was supposed to be the other gender. And so I did these steps to bring myself closer to how I see myself or how I want the world to see me. And I went from this to this, I went male to female, female to male and it being like more of a linear and less like gray. And I think the responses that you've always given me whenever we're talking about your gender or your name or your gender identity or how you view yourself has always lived in what I'll call gray, just more of that space. And even in like other interviews that I've read, which I know you say you didn't love as much as you love this one. But you've, yeah, you've talked about living in that gray and I guess I just want you to talk more about that.
Garcia
Yeah, I think, thank you. I feel, I feel seen in that moment with you. Thank you. That's true. Because I, yes, I feel like I get that every so often. It's like I, yes, I live in this gray area or just it's not, nothing is ever all the way, one way on any sort of spectrum with me and I kind of just want everyone else to be that way, bitch. Like, no, no, but like just like hold space for possibilities or just hold space for more and not leave anything in or out.
I don't know. But yeah, and I, I do very much feel that way or it just, it never, and that's why I think hormones even gets a little complicated and we don't have to go all the way into this. But I just, where I'm like, I don't know if I ever, if tea was really for me and I, you know, and, but I didn't, I, when I started doing it, I was, I, it's, again, it wasn't, I wasn't around people or I didn't have the kind of thinking that I think would have been necessary and that only just comes with, I don't wanna, again, like, I don't think age has anything to do with it. It just has to do with resources and support. And if people have that at a really young age, wonderful. I didn't, at what I think. When did I start? I was like, this was 20 I think, I, well, if, when we met.
So what, like 20 1620 so something like that. 27. No. Yeah. 2017, 2016, something like that. And, and so, yeah, even doing hormones. I was like, well, this seems like an option. So, and, and I didn't really think about it and I went to the doctor.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Gender affirming. Care has been under attack in the United States for quite some time as of November 2023. According to the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, over 35% of trans youth live in a state that's passed bans on gender affirming care. Led by national anti LGBT Q plus groups. The legislators across the country have overridden the recommendations of the American medical establishment and introduced hundreds of bills that target trans and non binary youths access to age appropriate medically necessary care. At the height of the legislative session, more than half, 50.4% of all trans youth were living in a state where gender affirming care bans had been introduced while youth are the focus of many of these attacks. States such as Oklahoma, Texas, South Carolina have considered banning care for trans people up to the age of 26 years old.
Gender affirming care as defined by the World Health Organization encompasses a range of social psychological, behavioral and medical interventions designed to support and affirm an individual's gender identity. When it conflicts with the gender that they were assigned at earth, the interventions help transgender people align various aspects of their life with their gender identity.
That identity can run anywhere along a continuum that includes man, woman, a combination of those neither of those and a fluidity. Those who seek gender affirming care are often experiencing gender dysphoria, which the A P A cites as psychological distress stemming from the incongruent between gender assignment and identity, which is defined as a clinical condition.
Numerous studies have found that trans youth, especially those experiencing gender dysphoria are significantly more likely than other youth to suffer emotional distress and depression to experience bullying and other forms of violence and to harm themselves or attempt suicide. The truth is that data for more than a dozen studies of more than 30,000 transgender and gender diverse young people consistently shows that access to gender forming care is associated with
better mental health outcomes. And that the lack of access to such care is associated with higher rates of suicide, depression and self harming behavior. Major medical associations including the A AP the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, the Endocrine Society, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association have published policy statements and guidelines on how to provide age appropriate gender affirming care. All of those medical societies find such care to be evidenced based and medically necessary. While this story is Garcia's alone, it's crucial that we understand each individual's experience with gender affirming care is unique as is all of our personal medical, social and psychological decisions.
Garcia
There's so much of my own story that I'm not public with that I don't speak a lot about unless it is with people that I love and care for like just trust all around because that can be so easily misconstrued. And my story is very is mine. It's very, it's specific to me and only me and that does not, this is not for any other trans person or non binary person, generally not conforming like it's, yeah. And so that was always kind of nerve wracking that I'm still deciding how much every day or just like publicly what to share, what not to share.
Garcia, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Because I know that that can potentially harm or be harmful for other when you just said now, trans or non binary or gender, non confirming all of these different labels or identities or terms, however, we want to call them.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
How do you, how do you view your..?
Garcia
I don't, I jumped you. I don't know. Yeah.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah. How do you view yourself? Do you feel like these labels are useful within and of yourself?
Garcia
Yeah. No, I every time, yeah, I'm, I'm like asked this, I'm like, I don't, I don't want to, I only do it because people, our brains, we need to make sense of things. So we need a word for it and I'm just like, what if we just don't need a word for it? What if we just accept people as is and we wouldn't have to fucking point and name it. And that's what people want to do, which is why we have all this terminology.
But so it is then therefore, so it can be difficult to be like all inclusive, you know, like if we look at the acronyms, we go from LGBT and LGBT Q plus and then LGBT qi a play like it's just, and I understand why we do that and that is necessary and I wish that it just inherently incorporated everyone. And then you know that these terms are so specific when really I'm like, what is all encompassing?
And I think something we've come up with, we as in like, so like not like not all people in the queer community, but like people use the word queer now and it's not just like gay or lesbian or like it's bi or whatever, like it's queer, we're all queer and that's kind of been the new default for me, at least for some contexts.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
These are some the most common definitions for these terms trans seen with an asterisk originally used to include explicitly both transsexual and transgender people. Now usually it indicates the inclusion of gender identities such as gender fluid a gender alongside transsexual and transgender non binary. People feel their gender identity cannot be defined within the margins of gender binary.
So instead they understand their gender in a way that goes beyond simply man or woman. Gender, nonconformity refers to the degree in which an individual's appearance, behavior interests and subjective self concept deviate from conventional forms of masculinity and femininity. While some absolutely find comfort and understanding by identifying with some or all of these terms, others may not feel like labeling themselves is useful when it comes to these labels.
I've been left with a really important lesson, talking about all the labels that we were just talking about. Something that has stuck with me so much is a conversation that you and I had about someone that I was going to school with and I was telling you, yeah, this person dresses like this and looks like this but uses these pronouns and seems to be in a relationship with, with this person.
But I don't really get it like, what is it like? What? I couldn't really put them essentially. I wasn't saying this but in my mind, I was thinking I can't really put them in a box. Are they gay? Are they trans? Are they non binary? Are they queer? And in what way? And who are they interested in? And how are they, how are they like the way that they see themselves?
How is that being portrayed on the outside? Because what they're dressing compared to like if they do or don't have facial hair or how long or short their hair is? Like, I was feeling I couldn't wrap my head around it and I was asking, I was talking to you about it and you were like, who cares? What's the like? Like, I don't like, why are you, why are you trying so hard to figure this out?
Like who cares that actually changed so much for me? Because I, who really does care like, what is my, like, how is it my business? What this person, if they want to dress in a specific way and how I think that does or doesn't match my perceived understanding of their identity or their sexual orientation. Like, why is that my business and who cares ultimately, regardless of how someone identifies themselves, asking for pronouns, which are the words that we often use to talk about a person when we're not using their name like he, she or they is always encouraged and honestly often really appreciate, ask pronouns, ask for pronouns and, and then that's it.
Garcia
And then from there, it's like, what else? Why do you, what else do we, why else, what other questions do you need to have? And, and why are they necessary other than like, how should I refer to you? What's your name? What are your pronouns? Great. And then the rest is nobody's fucking. But unless, unless you're gonna try to actively date this person.
But even then it's like, well, then you know, if you have to ask all these questions of then just to figure out where the, where's the chemistry? Where's the vibe? Yeah, like what? I don't even like you like not just asking things about like what the fuck like. So even though it's like, why do you care?
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
It can be comforting to know that anyone can make a mistake when it comes to misgender, someone using incorrect pronouns or feeling unsure of how to address an individual. It is the vulnerability, honesty and accountability that an individual responds to in that situation. That really makes the difference.
Garcia
I call myself out then because of what you just said, which was really like, oh, fuck. Right. Because I had an oopsie as an educator a few weeks ago where I, where one of the schools I'm substituting at is in the hood. It's a charter school but it's a predominantly brown low income school. Honestly, there's like a splash of, of, of, of black kids but other than that, like predominantly brown school in the hood and I was substituting fifth grade and we, we were running through names
also. It's chaos. So I'm trying to get through the ro like the roster trying to get like everyone here, you know, name names and things like that. I was like, ok, cool and then you know, and then I just write Garcia on the board like I don't put a Mr or MX like I'm just put in Garcia and they're like, oh we could say which these kids are so funny. They're like, we get to call our teacher by their first oh by his first name.
Like, you know, and then exci they were excited when they came in. They were like, oh we got a boy today like they were so happy because they always got like apparently like a woman substitute and things like and so anyway, like Jenner was introduced the moment these kids walked into the room, which I thought that's crazy. Anyway, so, we're going around and the 1st 10 minutes of class and I accidentally misgender didn't know a student and it was an, a fab student.
And for those that don't know, a fab is an acronym for assigned female at birth. And I thought this is an a fab student or I didn't know that this was an a fa student and I accidentally misgender them. And I was like, oh can you know, he, I said like he, him or something and the student was like, oh they're like, oh you just, just heed me and I was like, wait, what?
And then I saw their chat. I was like, oh I, and I was like, whoa OK, I was like my bad friend. And then they're like, no, it's cool because their hair was also so they're like, no, like they were happy about the mi ging in that moment and I was like, oh wait, but then like, I wasn't happy that I fully because I my bad like what if those weren't your So I was like, wait friends, like, should we do pronoun?
Like, do you wanna do names and pronouns? And they're like, yeah, some of the people like, yeah, I want, I was like, oh OK. Shit OK. So we're doing this and so we had to go through the room again. And like do pronouns and I wrote them on the board because obviously these silly little boys wanted to pretend they didn't know what pronouns are. I was like, all right friends.
These are pronouns like she, you know, whatever. I broke it down. And then in that moment, there was also like these other, again, like a fab students and this one student was sitting next to his friend and was his friend was like, do it like, you know, tell, tell him, you know, the student was like, not the name that was on the the attendance sheet and was like, Alex. He him, I was like, heard Alex he him thank you so much and went on and, and that was not the student.
I missed Janet. It was another student. So I was like, oh shit OK. And it was really nice and then came me and I was like, all right, well, friends since we're given pronouns like because I, when I'm educating or just in these new spaces, like I don't even staff like I don't care. I don't, I'm not like, oh, I'm Garcia, they then just everyone's he me up and down, I'm Mr Garcia all day long.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Do you, does it feel fine to you being like he him mister all day or are you not into it?
Garcia
It's not just, I mean, it feels weird but it's not disrespectful because this is I didn't tell you my pronouns and sure that's not what I'm here for. I'm not here to teach that. I mean, I'm here to teach here today, but not that. And, but in this moment when I'm with these students and we're sharing our pronouns, I was like, all right friends and my pronouns are, are they them? And one of those, it was, it is like, those are your real pronouns. And I was like, yes, and they're like, like out and they're like out in the world.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Let’s shift gears to discuss Garcia's experience playing a trans man on the Netflix series, Tales of a City.
Garcia
OK. The thing about it, the character that I play in Tales of the City is about a year and a half, a year, year and a half on hormones and that was almost aligned where, where I was at the time. Nine months later, here I am auditioning for a character that's like, wow, men are giving me attention. That's crazy. And I was like, holy shit. Somebody wrote my life that I, this is what's going on anyway.
I think so. I didn't have my top surgery. I played this trans man who's exploring sis gay man and a lot of the DM si was getting after Tales was released was, you know, people felt really seen or just like, saw themselves in a way that like, oh, I can be desired by someone in this way, in a romantic way because one of my love interest is really sweet and drops a few cute lines and, you know, it's like, you know, it feels incredible to be desired by you, blah, blah, blah.
And like, Drake is Drake lo and Jake, my character is, is, is taken aback by that, you know, and it's, it's nice to hear and, and, you know, it doesn't comment or say anything but, you know, and so there's like a, a soft little scene before they like rendezvous and rendez like keeping a PG but not, I don't know what I'm doing. Ok. Anyway, this is they, what am I saying?
Anyway. So I, since I don't have my surgery, it was a because there was a an ins there wasn't an intimacy coach provided, but there was conversations with the director and the like there was conversations that were had with me and as well as my classmate about how do we want to have the sex scene? How much nudity, like there was beautiful conversation around that where everyone was comfortable and felt good.
And I mean, I was prepared to do the whole nine yards like I was supposed, I was prepared to be like as of no clothes like, but we kept it super clean and like, kept my top. Like I had like a, a tank top on and, you know, but I don't have top surgery. And anyway, so one of the main comments that I was getting in my D MS after Tales was released was how they appreciated that Jake didn't have top surgery.
It look like they're like, because there was like, questions with those messages, like, oh, did you not have top surgery? Like it? You know, it looks like this and on, on the screen and stuff like that.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
And top surgery is another name for chest masculinization or feminization surgery.
Garcia, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
In which multiple different surgical approaches can augment brush tissue for a more affirmation I do wanna admit like I've never responded to a single message because DM scared the shit out of me and I was, and it was just like so much at the time when Tales was released, but all those messages meant a lot and I had read every single one of them I think, I think, I think, but either way, like those messages pointed out, they showed me that I'm like, oh, ok.
Garcia
So people I'm kind of glad in a way that they were able to see because if we're talking about like gender firing care as well, like people, only, some people only validate trans people if they're on hormones, if they've had a surgery, if like you have to do XYZ and oh, now you're trans. No baby, like you could be trans no matter what, like you don't have to be on hormones. You don't have to have any kind of surgery.
You don't have to have a name change. Like none of these have things have to happen to be affirmed or validated in your queerness and your trans. and I think that was kind of nice and maybe that was just the universe. Like I didn't have my top surgery and was able to play this character, this trans character as is with the body I had at the time.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I'm so grateful on our first episode of the season that Garcia shared their story with.
Garcia
Love you. I'm proud of you. This is exciting, honestly. So I'm excited to hear you.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Gender affirming care is under attack in the United States. And in the last few years, states have advanced a record number of bills that attack LGBT Q rights. When approximately 80% of the population has never met a trans person. It's unacceptable that the narrative around trans folks is shaped by media perceptions. I'm so grateful that Garcia was able to share their personal story around their experience with gender identity.
And so much more you can follow Garcia at @whatisgarcia on Instagram? As always a full transcription of the episode along with citations can be found on my website. All those links are available in the show notes and you can find me everywhere at @taylorraealmonte. See you out there.
REFERENCES
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Boerner, Heather. 2022. “What the Science on Gender-Affirming Care for Transgender Kids Really Shows.” Scientific American. May 12, 2022. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-the-science-on-gender-affirming-care-for-transgender-kids-really-shows/.
Boyle, Patrick. 2022. “What Is Gender-Affirming Care? Your Questions Answered.” Association of American Medical Colleges. April 12, 2022. https://www.aamc.org/news/what-gender-affirming-care-your-questions-answered.
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———. 2023b. “Attacks on Gender Affirming Care by State Map.” Human Rights Campaign. April 24, 2023. https://www.hrc.org/resources/attacks-on-gender-affirming-care-by-state-map.
James, Sandy E., Jody L. Herman, Susan RAnkin, Mara Keisling, Lisa Mottet, and Ma’ayan Anafi. 2016. “The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey.” National Center for Transgender Equality. https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/usts/USTS-Full-Report-Dec17.pdf.
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Liang, Fan. 2022. “Top Surgery (Chest Feminization or Chest Masculinization).” Www.hopkinsmedicine.org. August 24, 2022. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/top-surgery.
“Making a Name for Yourself: For Trans People, It’s ‘Life-Changing.’” n.d. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/making-name-yourself-trans-people-it-s-life-changing-n1049721.
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