S1 E4: Body Neutrality, Growing Up with Disabilities, and Building a Brand Around Inclusivity with Molly Day
In this episode, I speak with Molly Day, a NYC-based fitness professional, former professional dancer and the creator and founder of Moves With Molly.
Summary
In the fourth full-length episode of "On the Outside", hosted by Taylor Rae, former professional dancer and current fitness professional, Molly Day, details her journey with learning disabilities and her transition from the dance world to the fitness industry. Having danced for the Knicks City and Celtics dancers, Molly later utilized her applied psychology degree from NYU to shift narratives within the fitness industry, integrating mental healthcare and focusing on body neutrality, accessibility, and self-esteem. Molly, who struggles with dyslexia and an eye condition, founded 'Moves with Molly,' a fitness classes series emphasizing joyful movement, both in New York City and online via YouTube. She discusses societal pressures on beauty and appearance, sharing her own transformation from body positivity to body neutrality. Molly also highlights her battles with post-surgery depression, mental health issues, and the role her support system played in overcoming these challenges. She ends the discussion by underscoring the significance of personal identity beyond physical attributes or career titles.
Key Moments
Introduction (00:00:06 - 00:00:30)
Taylor Rae welcomes his friend back to another episode of "On the Outside". He states he always expresses excitement in every episode, citing that if she wasn't excited, she wouldn't host the show.Molly Day, Fitness Industry, Body Neutrality, Learning Disabilities (00:00:30 - 00:26:15)
In the fourth full-length episode, Molly Day, a New York City-based fitness professional and former professional dancer, talks about her journey as a professional dancer and simultaneously living with learning disabilities. Molly mentions that she danced for the Knicks City dancers and the Celtics dancers, and she used dance as her safe space growing up. After leaving the dance world, she focused on shifting the narrative in the fitness industry using her degree in applied psychology from NYU. Molly focuses on mental health care within the movement world, basing her fitness philosophy around three pillars: body neutrality, accessibility, and building one's self-esteem. She also shares her struggles with learning disabilities, including dyslexia, and an eye condition that impacted her dance career. Despite her challenges, Molly founded 'Moves with Molly,' a series of fitness classes that emphasize joyful movement. She teaches these classes across New York City and provides on-demand classes through her YouTube channel.Body Neutrality, Fitness, Mental Health, Disability (00:26:15 - 00:41:32)
The episode was a discussion about body neutrality and body positivity, with experiences from Molly's life providing context to the topics. Molly, the interviewee, discussed her struggles with societal expectations on beauty and looks in her career as a performer and fitness professional. She also delved into body image issues and shared her transformation from focusing on physical appearance to appreciating her body for what it can do, moving from a perspective of body positivity to body neutrality. In addition, she discussed her journey as a dyslexic individual, especially about how her disability affected her self-esteem and career as a dancer. Furthermore, Molly delved into her struggle with post-surgery depression, mental health challenges, and the support she received from her friends and her therapist, Glenn. Issues around physical attributes of athletes and trainers were brought up, discussing how certain physical attributes could help or hinder their success. Molly ended by emphasizing the importance of personal identity beyond physical attributes or job titles, suggesting that her experiences helped her show up for people in a more understanding manner.
Transcription
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
What's up friend? Welcome back. My name is Taylor Rae and this is another episode of “On the Outside”. As always, I am so excited to be bringing you today's conversation. I say that in every episode because honestly, I'm always excited. If I wasn't excited, I wouldn't be having it. This is our fourth full length episode of season one. But if you've been listening to the family chats the solo episodes, if you are a real one, then you know it is episode number seven.
I can't believe that we are already flying through this season. I have such a great conversation today with Molly Day. I know you're going to love it. So let's get to it. Molly Day is a New York City based fitness professional and former professional dancer. She had the privilege of dancing for the Knicks City dancers and the Celtics dancers and has performed alongside many singers and entertainers such as Meghan Trainor, Sugar Hill Gang and Ashanti.
After leaving the dance world, Molly decided to focus on shifting the expected narrative of the fitness industry with a degree in applied psychology from NYU. Molly focuses on the importance of mental health care within the movement world. She is the creator and founder of moves with Molly, a signature series of fitness classes based in science led with the belief that all movement should be joyful.
Her personal fitness philosophy is based around three pillars, body neutrality, accessibility, and building one's self esteem. She teaches across New York City as well as on demand via her youtube channel. In our conversation, Molly talks about going to a high school that gave her specialized attention for her learning disabilities.
What it was like to have dance as her safe space as a kid and how that turned into a career. What life looks like now as a creator and founder of moves with Molly, where she practices body neutrality and joyful movement and so much more.
Let's get into it by hearing about a time when Molly felt like she was an outsider.
Molly Day
A little context — I'm someone with a bunch of different learning disabilities and had a really hard time growing up in school and had to eventually go to a special education, high school. So I always, I could not read growing up, like could not was struggling. So always just and when you're a kid with special needs, when you're neurospace, you know, the feeling of you just constantly feel like an outsider.
There are so many little moments that just remind you you're not like them, you're different. And so I had a very hard time in school. But I always danced and dance was like my safe place. And after college I wanted to dance professionally and I spent years trying to get on this one contract, trying to get this one job and I finally got it. It was my dream job.
could not be happier in life. And for this job, we used to change our hair for almost every performance and now I can dance but I can't do my hair. There's one I can curl it and that's it. There's no fancy anything happening. I'm a little better now, but this is my first season with the team. And so every time we had to do my hair, the coach would do it for me and just the way the dressing room worked, the rookies were kind of like on one side off and that's not other and that's just like normal
team stuff. The rookie sit over there. But every time my coach did my hair, I used to sit on the floor in front of her and would kind of be where the veterans are. She would be doing my hair. And it was like this really special moment to me because it was like, this is a moment when you're on a team. You don't really have a lot of one on one time with your coach.
This is one on one time with her. She is doing something specifically for me. It felt really special and I got to kind of like, be closer to everyone. I, I really looked forward to it sometimes it was crazy and like, we're trying to get to perform, but it was always like a special, like calming moment. And one day it was early in the season, everyone was just talking about their favorite book.
And I was like, oh, I get to like, have this conversation and no one knows my past and no one knows anything about me. And I said Flowers For Algernon is my favorite book because that was the first book I ever read on my own without someone like forcing me to. So I proudly say I loved Flowers for Alger nine. And my coach goes, oh, what are you in high school?
I read that when I was a kid and everyone laughed and I it crushed and I know she didn't mean it to be mean. I know she was just like doing a little like joke. But I just remember being like, oh fuck, like just that reminder of even when no one knows you can't compare to them, you can't fit in. And it's kind of that those like invisible disabilities that I remember just being so quiet the rest of the year.
And for Secret Santa for Secret Santa, we used to do like little skits of each other before we showed who it was. And I remember the poor girl that got me like, didn't even know what to do for me because I had just been so silent, like I'd like, show none of my personality. So it's just this feeling of like, oh people are gonna find out and they're gonna treat you differently.
And I just like, remember that like little safe space I had with my coach turned into like nerves, but it's just those tiny moments that like can other someone so quickly. So I always think of that whenever someone's like talking about books, I'm like, don't say flowers for a, I like say anything else.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Let's get into our conversation.
Molly Day
So I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut. I have two siblings, normal life. I went to the high school there in the public schools there up until about junior year and then I went to a special education high school that was specifically focused in dyslexia. So I was there for two years. I was such a little like cool punk rock kid in all of high school.
And then I had to go to this school where we were like, we're wearing uniforms and it just crushed my, my little soul. It was like, I can't just be a little golf kid anymore, but that high school was amazing. I feel like it really changed the trajectory like of my life. It really taught me how to read, gave me a bunch of confidence, all that kind of stuff.
After high school, I went to three different colleges. I originally started at a college that had a dyslexic program. So they were like, very like on it with accommodations and everything. But literally my like second week there, I was going in for accommodations and someone said like, oh, you're dyslexic, but you're smart. And I was like, all right, like I gotta go like, this isn't the place for me.
So I, I went to pace for two semesters. I dropped out to dance for a little bit, got her while dancing. So I was like, let me just go finish school and I ended up at NYU. So graduated from NYU while I was there, I was on the dance team, which was my favorite thing ever. We went to like nationals and Daytona. It was so much fun and then after that, I wanted to continue dance.
So I did a couple professional teams, a couple of professional like gigs and while I was dancing, I was never like an athletic person besides dancing. I never worked out. But I was realizing like, if I wanna not be injured, I need to cross train. So that's when I started getting into group fitness. And I was like, oh, this is kind of like a baby performance.
Like this is like, I could perform every day but like to a tiny little group of people. So then I got certified and I started doing that and I realized that was really where I found so much joy because I went to college for psychology and I feel like group fitness is this perfect blend of like psychology and connecting with people and like helping people while also dancing and moving and like doing that thing. I love.
so that's kind of where I ended up here and now I have youtube and for Musa Mali, which is like all rhythmic stuff. And I just love the idea that there's no barrier to entry. Anyone can go on this youtube, anyone can get it. You don't have to pay anything. You don't have it need to have any special equipment. The video is there, it's for all levels and like anyone can really have access to movement. That's fun.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I wanted to get more context around Molly's experience with school. So let's back it up a little to you said in junior year is when you went to this new high school.
Molly Day
Yeah, we can back it up even further like elementary school. So because the reason I had to transfer junior years because I was a junior in high school still reading at 1/5 grade reading level, which is like a little disparity like that. A little different. Like we gotta, we gotta catch up a little bit. But I was the kid back in the day that had the aid in the classroom, I was the kid that went to the resource room and I remember even just like, prepping for this podcast thinking back,
like, when did you feel like an outsider? Like, there were so many times that I was taken from the room, the like general ed classroom and like, came back and like, they just had a party and I missed the party or like, everyone got to, like, pick their seats together and I didn't get to because I had to just sit with the aid.
You know, like all these like little moments of like, oh, I don't belong even further than everyone else is reading. And I'm like, what the hell is that word? Like? Can't figure it out.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Approximately 7.3 million disabled students in the United States make up about 15% of national public school enrollment. The most common type of disability for students in pre kindergarten through 12th grade involves quote specific learning disabilities such as dyslexia.
About a third of students, 32% had a specific learning disability, about 19% had a speech or language impairment while 15% had a chronic or acute health problems such as a heart condition, asthma, sickle cell anemia, epilepsy, leukemia or diabetes.
Molly Day
It was so many like different moments of that. Like so many times that like, I wanted to dance in the talent show, but I couldn't because I had to go for like this diagnostic testing. So at that point, I think I was just like completely burnt out and like, just felt like there's no like future. Like, I didn't think I was going to college. I didn't think I was gonna like, have a big steady job.
I thought I was going to be doing something that was just kind of like an entry level job forever. So when the school was like, we're gonna send you to this special school. obviously at that school, we did things like phonics. We went to, we used to go to school from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Like we just had classes all day long. Like we would break for literally like breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
It was wild and was it was that fun or was that a lot?
Molly Day
I mean, it was a lot but they, it wasn't like sitting in a classroom doing science. We used to have like if it was art day, we would have two hours of art like, but it was just all integrated because like when you guys would go home and do homework, we had an aid with us doing homework.
Molly Day
So that was like technically still school.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Molly mentions a few different disabilities throughout the course of our conversation. But the first one that she mentions is dyslexia according to the International Dyslexia Association, dyslexia is a language based learning disability that refers to a cluster of symptoms which result in people having difficulties with specific language skills, particularly reading, students with dyslexia usually experience difficulties with other language skills such as spelling, writing and pronouncing words, dyslexia affects individuals throughout their lives. However, its impact can change at different stages in a person's life.
Molly Day
It's like, I'd such like a wall of like, I don't even want to learn, I can't learn. I've been trying to learn this whole life. No one has been able to do it. So, and everyone was like that. It was so funny because like if there was a class of eight of us, it was like eight of the class clowns because we all had these defense mechanisms of like, oh you're not gonna get me to read this, but I'll make you laugh.
So then you get distracted and we'll go so those poor teachers, God bless them, like trying to control all these like different class clowns. So the first thing I feel like they did, the school is called Kildonan and it's not around anymore. But they built up our self esteem, like doing things like art and like doing things that you don't get at a normal school to kind of build up that confidence.
And then they're like, and then maybe do you wanna do phonics too? And you're like, OK, I guess because like, I already did this so well, like, I guess I'll do that. And they really helped us learn how to like use our voice and how to say I need help with this.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Something that I didn't know until I started my research for this episode is that perhaps as many as 15 to 20% of the population as a whole have some of the symptoms of dyslexia, including slow or inaccurate reading, poor spelling, poor writing or mixing up similar words. Not all of these will qualify for special education, but they are likely to struggle with many aspects of academic learning and are likely to benefit from systematic explicit instruction in reading, writing and language dyslexia occurs in people with all various types of backgrounds and intellectual levels.
Molly Day
Five beautiful learning disabilities. I'm dyslexic which is kind of reading this graphic, which is writing. I have a hard time writing which is so funny. All my friends tease me because I write them letters and they're like, this is a boy's handwriting and I'm like, shame. But yes, dyscalculia which is like dyslexia numbers. I have ADHD and like a language processing disorder which I don't know if that's in the DS M anymore, but it just basically if someone is speaking to me and it's not like a quiet room and I can like stare at their lips.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I'm like, what like, say it again, knowing Molly, I also wanted to touch on an eye surgery that she had a few years ago since then. You've had, I mean, many years since then you had surgery on your eye. Is that considered a disability?
Molly Day
So I could. So I detached my retina during the pandemic, I started going blind and we didn't know what it was. And I went in and they said, oh, like you have like a 90% tear. Like if you waited any longer, it would have gotten so much worse. So they fixed it. And if I, right now, if I close one eye, everything is just blurry, like I can still see, but it's blurry.
which is great for horror movies because I love horror movies, but I hate Gore. So now when I watch it, I just watch it with the one eye and it's like blurry, Gore. So I still get to see what's going on, but like not all the details anyways. So I can put in like a contact and it will make the like everything clear, but I can see like my scar if that makes sense. So then it doubles everything and which really affects me like on stage like when we were any time I'm on a stage now I'm always just like slightly falling because I'm like trying to figure out my balance. So no, I don't think that's a full disability. I definitely wouldn't count that as one. Just probably don't let me drive at night. And if I say, oh, I'm fine, just don't get in the car, just be like, Molly, I'll drive.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I asked Molly if she considers herself disabled or refers to herself as disabled.
Molly Day
Yeah, I definitely consider myself someone with a disability. I think of that because I know I function better with accommodations. Like there's been times in life, I've gone off my A DH D medicine and I can feel that I am struggling in certain areas and I think that's kind of like the main definition of disability. Like, are you better when you're accommodated in the past?
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I think that I've assumed that I knew what it meant for someone to be disabled or have a disability. And I've heard folks refer to themselves as both as both someone saying I am disabled or someone saying I have a disability. So I think individuals prefer to refer to it the way that feels best for them. But that being said, I don't think I truly knew the definition according to the CDC. A disability is a condition of the body or mind that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities and interact with the world around them. There are many types of disabilities such as those that affect a person's. And this is a list that's on the CDC website that affects a person's vision movement, thinking, remembering, learning, communicating, hearing mental health or social relationships, encompassing a wide range of people with a variety of needs in the years that like I've been out of school now.
Molly Day
I think it's very different for kids growing up with these sort of challenges. But I, I would still consider myself someone with a disability because every job I've had, I've had to have a conversation with, like, my boss or my coach. That was like, here's what I struggle with. Here's the few things that would help me. What are you willing to give? How can we work this out?
And I think that's gonna be something I have to do no matter where I work. And like, I still use things like when I'm reading things online I have on my computer, something that reads it to me. When I buy books, I buy it in a bigger font. That's just easier for me. So I still use those accommodations that I kind of learned about in school in day to day life.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Let's back it up and learn more about Molly's eye surgery. I know you gave a brief synopsis on your eye surgery, but I feel like there's so much more in how that impacted you in terms of your career, your emotions, your mental health, like so many things.
Molly Day
So contexts like I've already been talking about, I'm someone that grew up with a really hard time in school. I couldn't read, couldn't like you go to school eight hours a day, it was miserable. Then I got to go to dance and dance was great. I have great special awareness. I love moving. Dance has always been like the thing that I escaped to. So I never, for some reason, I never really thought I would do it professionally.
I, I always feel like I talked about it but, like, never took the steps to actually do it. So then after college, one of my friends danced for the nets and I was like, oh, that's cool. I would love to do that. The Nets are a shorter team just in general. So I couldn't do the Nets because you're too tall. I'm very tall. So I was like, let me go audition for these other teams that are tall that are taller.
Yes. And the first team I auditioned for that year was the Celtics and I got it being able to like, continue dancing after college. I was like, oh, I can make a career out of this. Do not hate me. Audience Boston was just not for me. I loved the people. I loved my community. I have so many friends from that time in my life, but I'm a New Yorker, like through and through.
So I had to get back to New York. So then I did the Knicks and after the next I continued auditioning for Broadway and like did a couple shows, danced for a couple singers and stuff and then the pandemic hit had the eye surgery. The eye surgery doesn't really affect me in day to day, but it does on a stage and in fitness when you fall out of your single leg deadlift.
No one cares. You fall out, you giggle, you go back to it when you're dancing. If I'm supposed to be in a certain spot, if I'm supposed to hit four on the stage and I'm falling into five into the next girl because I'm a little dizzy. It's just not gonna work. And after the pandemic, I kind of like was going back and forth of like, what do you want to do? Do you wanna continue dancing?
Do you wanna not? Do you wanna pull back? And I thought about how I am already someone with disabilities that they're going into the dance world. I'm already someone that has to kind of catch up to meet everyone's baseline. So I already have this disadvantage for lack of a better word. And then adding the eye on it.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I was like, that's just like, hm, two punch you out as someone who grew up as a performer and lived a life as an actor.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I relate to Molly's experience about her life as a performer so much I book job.
Molly Day
I'm in rehearsals, everything is going great. I get on stage. Can't do it.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
And they say sorry, you gotta go Molly pivoted to center her fitness career when she began to face some of these challenges.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
While fitness had always been a part of her life, she took it to a new level.
Molly Day
I knew fitness was the end goal anyways, it may came a couple years earlier than I had hoped. But I still have generally most of my eyesight. So I had a lot of good years in the dance world. I'm very grateful for all of that, but it just didn't seem worth it to like, gamble because you know, you were a performer too.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Like you spend so long at those auditions and you hope and you hope and you hope and then I just kept getting this like vision of like you would get it, you would book it, you would get on the stage and it would crumble as part of the fitness brand and platform that she's created.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Molly really centers body neutrality. Something that you've talked to about is this idea of body neutrality. Can you just share what body neutrality is, how it resonates with you?
Molly Day
So I have started saying body neutrality because I used to be big in the body positivity world and body positivity is amazing. But it's just not a world.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
My voice needs to be in the body.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Positive movement originated from fat black and queer activism in response to certain bodies being so rarely visible or held as valuable in discourses and visual media. When we look at body positivity through a social justice lens, we see its roots are with those that least see themselves represented as having a quote unquote good body and who spoke about those types of oppression and exclusions.
Although body positivity is intended to challenge body related oppression such as exclusivity within physical cultures, fitness industries and popular culture have appropriated and commodified the body positive movement and have excluded older people, people from diverse races, individuals with physical disabilities and queer people, body positivity. Activists have lamented that the dominant form for the positive body, especially on social media is still a
young white lean able bodied cis woman. And even though the movement often speaks about diversity and claims of intersectionality, it does not often show it. I admire the way Molly viewed the body, positive movement and appreciated it. But also felt that she could better lend her voice to a different space.
Molly Day
I love that community. I support it so much. But I I also understand that just being women in this world, especially in American culture, we grow up picking ourselves apart. Like I, one of the tiktoks I made a while ago that got so many comments that just broke my heart was like, when was the last time you like, didn't think about your body? We're just like running around having fun, excuse me, having fun and not worried about your body.
And everyone was like, I can't remember because really like you can't like it starts so young. So I was like, even though body positivity is an amazing movement, I know my voice is just cluttering the space there where is somewhere that everyone can relate to. And that's kind of where I found body neutrality.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Body neutrality is the ability to accept and respect your body even if it isn't the way you'd prefer it to be. The term was popularized by Anne Poirier, a body image coach and the author of the body Joyful who began using it in 2015. She says body neutrality prioritizes the body's function and what the body can do rather than its appearance. You don't have to love it or hate it. You can feel neutral towards it.
Molly Day
Unfortunately. So sadly, we have to have a body like it's so disappointing. I'm so upset about it, but you have to have a body and like, how are you going to function in this world if you're spending every moment thinking about what other people are seeing? And I have spent so much, especially in the dance world, especially in the performance world where you have to look a certain way.
So much time worried about how I look even in a fitness class on stage, anything I'm like, I just want, I don't want to think about it. Like I want to just be able to live my life without spending so much time worried about this. I want to worry about this. I want to worry about this.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I want to worry about other people and she was pointing to her head and to her heart.
Molly Day
There are just so many other things in this world that matter. Besides if my thighs are jiggling and my leggings, you know, I feel like body neutrality is something that is like a constant thing you're going to work on forever. And I think anyone can relate to it no matter their size.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Molly shared more about her teaching and training style.
Molly Day
I do a lot of walking classes. I do a lot of dance cardio and that's always the butt of the joke for other trainers. We like, that's not optimal. This is optimal, working, working out. And I'm like, great, like, do your optimal optimal program. That's amazing. Like I just want to move my body and like, I'm not worried about how it's going to sculpt me or change me.
I just, I just want to move and enjoy it because if I don't, I don't stick to it and then that's really doing nothing for me. So that's why it's so important and so integral to what I'm doing in the fitness world. And that's why it's so connected because you're gonna pick your fitness program based on your body. That's just the way fitness has been marketed to us. What do you wanna fix? Here's your beauty program, here's your core program. Where I'm like, we're not trying to fix anything. You're fine. How does your body feel when you're moving? If you take out that notion in your head, that's what we're going to focus on. So that's why neutral is my new word. I don't know. And it's, you're gonna have bad body days, you're gonna have good body days. but if you're neutral most of the time, I think that's a good place to live.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I honestly didn't really fully understand the difference between body neutrality and body positivity. It's something I've been seeing on social. It's something I've been hearing people talk about, but I've never heard it explained like that, especially as a performer and in the world of fitness like this, never mind just being a human being, never mind being a, you know, woman in America or female identifying person in America.
The thoughts about your body are constant and I mean, it's something that I am constantly talking about with my therapist, Glenn. If you're listening, shout out to Glenn if you're listening to this podcast where you know me in real life, you know the name Glen because I'm always talking about Glenn and something that we're always talking about is, yeah, my life as a performer like something that was like a huge hurdle for me was always having agents that were like, you have to wear your hair with this weave, you need to have long hair, you have to have long flowy hair. These are the characters you're going to play. This is, you know, these are the roles that you're going to get and then eventually being like, I literally hate this. I need to wear braids. I pretty much only wear braids now and so much happier and also was more successful in the end of my life as an actor with braids.
So, like, what are we really talking about here compounded by the world of fitness where, you know, I have seen so many posts on social. That's like your first clue about your trainer is like, what do they look like? You want to be trained by someone that you want to look like them?
Molly Day
It hurts my heart and it hurts my heart because I've had those thoughts too. I feel like there's a level of cringe when it comes to like the body neutral, positive space because you read a post and we're like, well, I, I don't relate to that because I don't feel, I don't love my body like that. so we all have those thoughts of like, you see a trainer like, well, I don't want to look like that.
So I'm gonna go to someone else or you go with the trainer that looks the way you want, but they don't really have any experience. I understand that so deeply and that's why I try to lead with. It's not about that because I feel like we're all just trained to ask that question to ourselves.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I was thinking about so many people that I know being a fitness professional that looked like they were in amazing shape, whether that be because they grew up playing sports and they had that kind of background or because they were just genetically more predisposed to have a certain body type. And the way that having that physique kind of naturally led to people saying you would be a really great trainer or I want to look like you.
So you should train me and how that phenomenon seems to happen. Sometimes in sports and in fitness, me and Molly talked about the ways in which people sometimes choose careers or hobbies because they are predisposed to being successful at them. And I was thinking about the example of Michael Phelps, Michael Phelps, like many swimmers has a longer torso and shorter legs than the average person. The average person's wingspan is about the same as their height.
Phelps, wingspan is three inches longer than his height. Like many swimmers, Phelps has hyperextended joints, but his double jointed ankles bend 15% more than his rivals paired with his size 14 ft. His legs act like flippers thrusting him through the water. Phelps produces half the lactic acid of his competitors while this doesn't diminish his athletic success.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
It's one example of something that we see in other athletes and trainers who have physical attributes that lend themselves to being a successful athlete or trainer versus just their skill set alone, crafting them into an elite physical example of the knowledge that they possess whenever I see those programs that's like do this and you'll get abs like me in six weeks.
Molly Day
That's like me creating a program being like, if you do exactly my workout, you also will be 510. And if you aren't 510, by the end of the program, you must have done something wrong because this is what I do and I'm 510. So why isn't it working for you? And that sounds crazy. It sounds crazy. But like we do that with our bodies and like, I think that's also why like, fat phobia will be one of the like things that just is forever like because there's so much blame with it.
But if we can fully believe that the runway supermodels, the Kendall Kendall Jenners of the world are that size healthy. Like that's their healthy size. Then why can't we imagine that Lizzo is her healthy size. Why do we only think that is true?
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Molly went on to share about her life as a dancer and I was my tiniest and like my in my full athlete mode, I just naturally had a six pack.
Molly Day
But I always, no matter how tiny, I was had a ton of cellulite on my thighs. And I remember like coaches being like, oh, you really need this like spot reduce. Like you need to like do like more like stuff. And I was like, I can't like this is just naturally where I am where other women naturally held their weight in their tummies and had tiny little thighs. Like it's just ridiculous.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Finally knowing what a mental health advocate Molly is and how she shares that with her community online. And in person, I wanted to touch on mental health. I'm sure that all the other things that you touched on impact your mental health. Totally, like all these different experiences that you've had are going to impact your mental health. So how has that manifested for you?
Molly Day
Yeah. So I, I feel like when we met, I was in my deepest depression like my, which like you're rolling your eyes, you're like, I'm not even rolling my eyes.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I'm just, I think you always show up as a very bubbly person. I would imagine people use that word to describe you. So I just think, I mean, it's always just very interesting how people feel on the inside versus how they show up on the outside.
Molly Day
I mean, think of the Robin Williams Matthew Perry who like all those people that like, you know, as like these joyous happy people, you can't ever tell what someone's going through and mental health does not discriminate, doesn't care if you're rich, doesn't care if you're poor care. If you're famous doesn't care if you're not like it will get you, it will get you.
So after my eye surgery, like we kind of already talked about all the compounding things growing up with like zero self esteem because it just kind of felt like everyone else has got the memo and I didn't, everyone else is able to do this and I can't gaining self esteem, going to school, finding dance, getting on these t teams and these getting these contracts that just meant the world to me.
And I was like, in late stage auditions for a couple of really cool projects before the pandemic. And then I had eye surgery. I had to sit for like two months, was not able to move and coming back from that trying to get back to where I was. And then realizing kind of like what we already talked about of this isn't gonna be worth it anymore. Like you need to step away that just like put me in such a deep depression along with the pandemic, the world, all these other things.
And I feel like going through that because like, I know some, like, I feel like it's trendy to be depressed, which like, it's like I get because we all are. and like, we all kind of have that day to day. This was, I was like not leaving bed for like months. I would like get up and I would film for the company I was working for and then I wouldn't leave bed and I would take zoom calls like with my manager in bed, like could not do anything.
Friends coming over to like bring me meals and clean my apartment, that kind of stuff. And it gave me such a better perspective of how I need to show up for people in their lives in the fitness world. I've always been someone that kind of is like, accommodate how you need, modify how you need in class. but even just giving people the grace to like, show up and do like 5% of it, like, and knowing that they're gonna be safe and they're gonna be ok because I, there were so many times that like
in those depressed months that I was like, oh, I want, I have the energy today. I wanna get up and go to a class and I was like, but I probably have 10 minutes in me. And that's it. And like, is that instructor gonna be so mad if I leave? Is that instructor going to get frustrated if I start doing something else than the rest of the class is doing? But I'm also not comfortable enough to go up to that instructor and be like, hey, I've been in bed for a week.
This is the first time I'm moving. Please don't judge me like, no. So like, I, it made me such a better, it gave me such a better understanding of like how people can show up and being kind of there for open arms. I always like, yell in people's faces aggressively during class. Like there's nothing you can do in here that's gonna upset me at all. And I, the best thing that's happened in my fitness career is, I've had people say to me that they hear my cues in their brain when they take other classes that, like, I always say, like taking a modifier, setting a boundary and we love boundaries and they're like, I hear you say that when I take a class or I take another instructor and I'm like, great and I feel like hitting that low, kind of like rough point. really got me to that place. I feel like I was there prior, but it was almost superficial. Like I knew I had to air quotes.
Molly Day, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I knew I had to let people modify and now like, it's just so it's we start there and then we add on it if you need, I ended my conversation with Molly asking her a pretty challenging question and the way that I kind of want to frame this question because in the moment, it was actually really hard to articulate.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I think that at different moments in our life, we kind of lead with different elements of our identity, different things that are most important to us or that are most prevalent. Maybe those are the things that the world sees first. So for me as a child, kids around me were constantly saying that I was black and I was confused by that because I saw myself as Puerto Rican and Dominican.
I saw myself as my ethnicity versus my race. But that became a huge part of my identity and kind of the main thing that I would say I led with because it was something I was constantly reminded later when I was in college, I was around people that seem to have a lot more money than I did. And suddenly my socio-economic status became the main thing that I felt was leading my identity and leading my day to day activities.
So I was trying to ask Molly what it has felt like going through through all of the things she shared with us in this episode, how at different moments she might have felt that she was leading with different parts of her identity.
Molly Day
Yeah, I definitely feel like I walk in the world as two different people. I feel like before, like when I was dancing, you say, oh, I'm a knick city dancer and everyone goes, oh and you're like, I know like it and I absolutely use that as a way to kind of keep everyone like at a distance of like, you're not gonna know I'm dyslexic. You're not gonna know.
I struggle with these things even like the superficial things I've been getting. I, I've always loved rock music, always have was little punk rock kid. But during my dancing years, I never talked about it, I never went to a concert. I never brought it up because that was so tied to me as a kid struggling. And I recently have gone back to my like concert.
And so many people that have met me during the dance times are like, what, like what you're going to a trivium concert. And I'm like, hell yeah, I am. because I was able to kind of take the identity of this pretty straight sized dancer and hide behind it that I did have to tell anyone who I was because I say dancer and they already think they know me. And even losing that like ability to be like, I'm a dancer and get that reaction from people, post surgery, post pandemic and not dancing anymore. I was like, oh, you have to be a little more truthful with who you are. You have to kind of greet people as molly versus putting on this facade of I'm a dancer. And I, I feel like I was always trying to hide the disability even though now I can like say I'm a person with a disability.
But even, and like even when you go to bosses and you try to tell them like here are my accommodations. Everyone wants to be the type of person that says I got you and they maybe are in the moment. But then at the end of the day, most people have a job to get done. And if your needs are getting in the way of them doing that smoothly, it's gonna upset them.
And there's been so many times that I've talked to a coach or a boss. And I said, can I have a B and C? And they're like, no, and I'm like, great. Like, I'll just figure it out and then they get frustrated with me because I'm not at that level that they need me to perform and then I'm frustrated with them because I'm like, well, if I, we just did this, like, it could be so much easier. So being able to kind of hide behind the pretty privilege, hide behind the excitement of being a dancer.
I didn't have to be as honest with people. And now when I meet someone, I don't have a list of cool things to list off to distract them. They're like, OK, tell me about yourself. And I'm like, oh fuck, I gotta tell them I can't read it. I, and I'm like, it's like no joking but like it definitely is a shift of now, I get to be a person beyond just my job and beyond just like this. especially because my job was so much my body, just a body, a pretty girl.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
OK. Friends. That is our show. I'm so grateful that Molly took the time to be on the podcast. And I know I learned so much about living with disabilities, asking for accommodations and so much more you can follow Molly at Moves with Molly with two eyes on Instagram and Tik Tok. As always, there's a full transcription of the episode along with citations that can be found on my website. All of those links are available in the show notes. Ok, friend. That's it. See you out there.
References
CDC. 2020. “Disability and Health Overview | CDC.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. September 15, 2020. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/disability.html#:~:text=A.
Cowles, Charlotte. 2022. “Can ‘Body Neutrality’ Change the Way You Work Out?” The New York Times, February 2, 2022, sec. Well. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/02/well/move/body-neutrality-exercise.html.
De Bellefonds, Colleen. 2020. “Why Michael Phelps Has the Perfect Body for Swimming.” Biography. May 14, 2020. https://www.biography.com/athletes/michael-phelp-perfect-body-swimming.
Griffin, Meridith, K. Alysse Bailey, and Kimberly J. Lopez. 2022. “#BodyPositive? A Critical Exploration of the Body Positive Movement within Physical Cultures Taking an Intersectionality Approach.” Frontiers in Sports and Active Living 4 (908580). https://doi.org/10.3389/fspor.2022.908580.
International Dyslexia Association. 2016. “Dyslexia Basics.” Dyslexiaida.org. International Dyslexia Association. 2016. https://dyslexiaida.org/dyslexia-basics/.
Schaeffer, Katherine. 2023. “What Federal Education Data Shows about Students with Disabilities in the U.S.” Pew Research Center. July 4, 2023. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/07/24/what-federal-education-data-shows-about-students-with-disabilities-in-the-us/#:~:text=The.
